Battle going on inside me right now

There's a war going on inside me right now between my heart and my mind. Ever since D told me that he has love for me but doesn't know if he's "in love" with me, I've been going back and forth.

Do I listen to my heart and keep hope alive inside me that maybe D will figure out that YES I'm the one he wants or do I listen to my head and say forget him? Sighs either way I feel like I'm in a lose/lose situation.

Maybe I need to do what the sign above says.

Wow two weeks almost from my last post

Hmmmmm where to begin? Let's start with the shit storm that the Rent A Center chick started when she called in CPS or Child Protective Services for most people.

Shakes my freaking head, my sister already has enough problems going on with her idiot guy telling her every other day that he's gonna toss her outta HIS house with out adding this crap to her plate.

Yes there were dishes in the sink (Big whoop de doh) Yes there were clothes on the floor (HELLO they were there to REPLACE the MESSED up Washer and bring us a NEW One) Yes my nephew said he was hungry and was running around in his underwear (#1 It was hot that day and #2 I had to get the RAC people outta my way so I could fix him a grilled cheese) Oh yeah and this was around same time that mom had just RECENTLY gotten outta the hospital from her damn mini-stroke.

That didn't concern little Miss Know-it-all Rent A Center chick Nope didn't ask any questions just jumped to conclusions and assumed shit.

My sister Doesn't even LIVE with Us first of all and secondly she should have been there to DO HER JOB not play amateur Social Worker.



The Boyfriend D just told me last night that while he's got love or loves me that he doesn't know if he's "in Love" with me? What the hell is that shit? Shakes my head, I've just decided to let it go and just see what happens at the end of the damn summer. I've changed my damn Facebook status and let him know I'm single and I'm not Just an option.


I'm filling out applications and getting on with my life. If he chooses to decide to become part of my life, than we'll see what happens with that but I'm not going to make him a priority when I'm just an option to him right now.



So long story short, Social Services is gonna be coming here on Wednesday around 3 PM and by than the living room/storage room will be straightened, mom and J's bedroom will be cleaned and straightened up, and the kitchen will be entirely cleaned up and stuff put away.

My nephew N has eye surgery on Friday (I think) or could be Saturday either way we need to pass this stupid inspection so we can keep my niece B here while everything is going on with N.

Well wish me good luck we're gonna need it to get everything cleaned up and totally straightened for these people. :-|

Computer troubles :-(

Well not really computer troubles but my modem took a crap on me lol

Of course it was over Memorial Day weekend, so I didn't get my new modem until the 30th. It actually arrived a couple days ahead of when Century Link told me it would arrive. So YAY for quick service. :-)

Over the weekend had to deal with the Rent A Center washer going crazy on me though, the lid wouldn't lock and since Whirlpool has that safety feature it wouldn't do ANYTHING. Ugghh and I tried calling off and on from Saturday around 5 PM up until Tuesday morning at 10 AM when I finally got an answer.

Turns out they were closed on Sunday (as normal hours) and Monday of course for Memorial Day. Thought it would be an easy switch the broke one for the new one sorta transaction but the loaner they brought me WOULDN'T put water into the washer. Grrrr so they had to take both back to the store and bring me another one out to replace the one that didn't work.

My nephew had gone outside with my sister and gotten the mail from the mailbox. I opened up the mail and found out that 2 of the 4 giftcards that I've earned from doing some 30 day trial period items had come in the mail. I thought cool now I've got $40 gas card and a $50 Wal-mart card to go and get some stuff from Wal-mart and be able to pay for the gas up to Dunn. I put the opened mail on the chest freezer by the back door and went to take care of my nephew for a few minutes.

The two workers from Rent A Center were taking the loaner washer out the back door and I didn't realize till after they left that my mail had been knocked down behind the chest freezer. I looked through the mail and 2 of my envelopes were empty. I was like hmmm WTH? The empty envelopes had the 2 gift cards in them earlier. I found the one gas card in the field where the Rent A Center truck had been parked along with the two letters from the companies that I'd gotten the gift cards from balled up in that field. I contacted Rent A Center thru Facebook. I'm not going to try to even talk to Harvey the store manager in Dunn, NC Rent A Center store.
I want to talk to the District Manager.

I'll have the washer until around 3 PM on Saturday now to make up for the time lost over the weekend.

I'll update about the gift card situation later.

Progress as of 5-24-2012 in the kitchen

Okay well this week had been stressful already with Mom going into the hospital on Monday. My sister and brother took turns the first night staying in the room with her while the kids (my niece B and nephew N) stayed here with me. Thankfully they slept thru the night and until around 9 am, so I was able to get a couple loads of laundry and a rack full of dishes done along with cleaning up area above the stove and the stove top ALL the way clean :-)

Picture above is the Stove area BEFORE

Kitchen Picture is a work in progress Picture.
Dirty dishes/pots/pans etc on the right hand side of the double sinks and the dish rack for the clean dishes on the left.

Laughs Yep I was cleaning the ENTIRE Top of the stove even
underneath the burners and ALL lol Still have some sorta
burnt on stuff to scrap off from under there.

Okay so I feel proud of the stove and the couple loads of laundry and rack of clean dishes but I feel like I really only just made a dent in the mess instead of just focusing on the GOOD Job that I've done so far :-s

Especially when I see the above picture of the kitchen in progress picture and these last couple of pictures of stuff I still need to get washed up and put away :-s

Stuff in front of the stove still to wash :-s

Still even more stuff to wash lol

Keeping busy Today 5-23-2012

Yeah I'm sorta slack at posting sometimes lol Since today is June 14th and not 5-23-2012 :-s

Once my sister and brother got home yesterday from being with Mom all night long, I went to sleep because I'd stayed up all night that night and I was ready to escape the youngans lol. I know I'm a sound sleeper and was worried I wouldn't hear my niece B or nephew N if they woke up while I was asleep. Laugh I don't have that super mommy ability of being a light sleeper in fact I once slept thru our tin roof getting folded over during a hurricane. So yeah I wasn't going to sleep till someone else was here to watch the kids.

Ended up doing a couple loads of wash and some dishes during the night. Of course, by time I went to hang up the clothes on the clothesline my niece B had waken up. I improvised and turned the grocery cart in the backyard into a temporary rolling playpen for her. The clothes ended up getting rained on later during the day. I'm laughing bout it now but I was pissed at the time. I should have remembered phrase from Of Mice and Men ---> Best laid plans of mice and men go awry. Laughs thanks Mrs. Parker for being my think it was 9th grade English teacher that taught me that so very long ago. :-)

Once I woke back up again (maybe 4 or 5 hours later) I went ahead and was trying to straighten up the kitchen some more. My nephew N even helped by taking all the green beans and corn and stacking them for now on the baker's rack in the corner. I need to buy some wood to turn the German shrunk that we have turned on end to make a storage area into more of a bookcase that we can use as a pantry.

I went ahead and tackled the area above the stove and the stove top itself tonight. I about broke my neck trying to use a bar stool to get where I could reach the shelves above the stove to wash them down. I cleaned up and scrubbed all over the top of the stove cleaning it off of all the assorted dishes and pots and pans. I sometimes think I'm just moving the mess from one area of the kitchen to another area of the kitchen though. :-s

I've got the before and after pictures of the stove area and the way the kitchen looks right now and pictures of areas I need to work on in the very near future. I'll put those pictures in another post since I'm still sorta figuring out the best way to add pictures to my posts here =^.^=

I ended up moving all the dishes to the far side of the sink so that I can fill up the sink on the right with dirty dishes and clean water and soap and move everything to the left to the dish drain I have set up there. Once the dishes are dried I move them to the baker's rack. Laughs my brother was surprised to see plates already washed and ready for supper last night. I still am going to buy some foam/plastic plates to use for summer or just when I don't want to do dishes.




I was having nephew N help with sorting the clothes to wash yesterday. I'd fill up the large round trash can with dirty clothes take it to the living room where I have two big sheets (one for whites and one for colors) and another pile for just sheets and towels. He'd help me throw clothes onto one pile or the other.







Wow looking at the pictures from the 5-23-2012 till now is like night and Day :-)

Living room is Soooo much cleaner The Burgundy computer chair is showing the same area where the big round trashcan was at in the first picture where we were sorting laundry :-)

Just an Update on the Doing things I shouldn't Post :-)

Well heard back from D and its good news or well promising news.

He's missed me too and been hurting (that's obviously NOT the good news) I mean I was hiding posts on my timeline on Facebook and avoiding talking to or mentioning him on there to NOT hurt him even unintentionally because I love him and I was thinking of his feelings.

The first talk with him sorta upset me because he was saying that we should each take this summer to explore and different things like that. He even said he may be taking a cross country trip to California (sighs definitely wasn't what I wanted to hear)

The second talk was actually the GOOD NEWS :-) He said he'd been thinking of me and had actually turned a couple of taxi runs over to another driver so he could talk to me. Laughs I told him to Stop doing that he needed the money and I could talk later. But he was like no I want to talk to you now. Just smiles and chuckles, remembering the conversation that followed.

He said that if things kept going the way that they were as far as me working on myself with therapy and getting myself back together that he could see us being back together in the future. He didn't want to promise anything because nobody knows the future and he didn't want to get my hopes up again.

I told him well I didn't know what the future held and I've lost people in the past that may not have know how much I loved them. So he'd have to forgive me but I wanted to make sure each day that I told him I love you. I mentioned how I couldn't remember if I'd told my dad I love him the day he went to work and didn't come home. He was tree climber and was killed on the job because the ground crew didn't move the fallen branches. He cut a limb off above him and it bounced up and killed him instantly.

D was so super supportive telling me that of course My Dad knew I loved him and even if I didn't tell him that day or not. He KNEW I loved him and that of course my Dad loved me. He talked to me even while I cried and blubbered like a baby. He knew exactly what to say and even with him being over 800 miles away, his voice was like a warm hug and shoulder to cry on.

Takes a deep breathe wiping my eyes, my Dad died on September 2, 1999 and I still hurt every time I think of that day. Its a deep soul wrenching pain that I don't think I will EVER get used to feeling. It hurts me to know what he's missed (birthdays, holidays, births of grandchildren) Takes a deeper sigh thinking of the future now and wondering if I'll be able to have kids and what the future or should I say WHO the future holds to be their father? Closes my eyes, I really want D to be there and telling me to push as I am in labor bringing OUR child into this world but for now I'll be putting that in my hope chest.

I told him (not really on purpose but I think I sorta wanted him to know) about what I almost did on Saturday with a pair of scissors. :-s I didn't cut my wrists that night because I had already seen the previous week how that could just hurt the people left behind. :-s

A friend's brother and also a friend of my sister D had lost family member/friend to suicide and I knew I would have left more unanswered questions behind and that suicide wasn't the answer.

Like I told my mom B Its a PERMANENT Solution to a Temporary Problem. I just need to look for more POSITIVE things in my life right now. D is an important part of that but no man could/should be the ONLY focus in your life.

Right now, I'm working on me (getting a job, paying off some of my credit debt, starting back into using more coupons once I have the room more organized for me to do that comfortably, hopefully renting my own place before the end of the summer)

I just have to have faith that if D dosen't come back to stay in NC that those taillights become headlights coming back towards me. Smiles D had even said you never know just because you see taillights leaving it doesn't mean that they can't turn around and become headlights again.

When that happens, I'll be the happiest woman alive because I know his promise of a second chance wasn't just something he said to calm me down. I know he's a good guy and that maybe we can be better together once I've gotten things under control here with my depression and different issues. And maybe a little counseling for both of us wouldn't hurt.

I've tried to talk to him about his past childhood but really I haven't really gotten much except I know he didn't have a good relationship with his dad :-s He told me that you've got to just start to crack open the book and start reading but he's been so close lipped about it that it just sorta frustrates me sometimes. I'd like to know more because well I love him and I'd love to know what makes him tick, you know?

I do have some things I think I will only be able to discuss in a couples therapy type of situation. Sighs some things are just too hard to say out loud or admit without thinking you will be judged for what happened. I've only told two other people and that was just recently. He knows about some stuff but some things I might just keep my secret all my life.

Mom is in hospital

Okay my mom is a diabetic has problems with blood pressure and arthritis and takes about 25 to 30 pills each day for all of that plus more health issues.

She was talking funny (not funny haha) but funny like asking if different people were still here visiting (we never have visitors here at the house) and she was insisting she went somewhere today even though she was in her nightgown and had been basically sleeping most of the day.

Called my sister and I checked her sugar it was 304 which was sorta high. Checked her blood pressure with one of those wrist style cuffs that automatically puffs up on its own. Blood pressure was low and I checked it again bout 10 minutes later. It was lower so my sister left her house and came with her two kids to take my mom to hospital.

Called the pharmacy to have a print up of her current medicines waiting for my sister.

Right now, mom is still in hospital overnight with my brother and sister staying up there and leaving the two kids N and B with me until the morning. :-s

Trying not to worry and keeping busy here with dishes and washing clothes.

Things I did waiting for even MORE laundry to hang up

While waiting for the laundry to get washed and spun out in the washing machine this is what I accomplished :-)

1. Cleaned up the brush/limbs in back of house around Jack Black's dog house. Cutting down the brush around the tree and than cleaning up all the glass there too. The people that lived here before us had a huge burning pile in the backyard. The vinyl on the back of the house is all curled up from the heat of the fire :-s
   
2. Cleaned up all the brush/limbs around the clothesline and mowed down the grass and brush. Tired of getting these tiny little sticker balls on my pants or on my flip flops lol
   
3. Moved the black plastic corner cabinet into the dog cage to hold all the buckets of dog food in the dog cage, so that the buckets will be out of the way.
   
4. Cleaned up the corner of the house just outside of the kitchen door.
5. Set up the glass topped table (need to move some chairs around back so we can sit outside and enjoy the weather some days)
6. Used the weed-eater to clean up around the dog pen's edges and in the dog pen to mow down the grass. Straightened up the rugs inside the dog pen.
   

Dancing in the Midnight Moonlight

Laughs okay well maybe not the Moonlight but in the light from the open back door.

Chuckles Yep I do the hanging the laundry two-step dancing between the grocery cart (brought it home from the local grocery store and just hadn't taken it back to them yet) and the clothes lines.

I normally just take the two or three loads of clothes and dump them into the grocery cart and sling about dozen different pieces of clothes onto my shoulder, gather a big handful of clothes pins in hand or use the ones on the clothesline and get to doing that laundry side shuffle down the clothesline.

I've been doing my laundry at night instead of during the day for a lot of reasons.

Why I do Laundry at night:

1. Its when I'm more awake. Yep you guessed it I'm nocturnal or more of a Night Owl lol just a glance at the times of my posts should show that to be true. :-)
2. The fire ants AREN'T Night owls lol The yard is just FULL of them this year :-s
   
3. Its just more relaxing. I can take my time and hang up as I get the loads of laundry done. Sometimes I'll wait till I have at least 2 loads ready to hang up and than I'll do it :-)
4. Its cooler at night to hang up laundry. Yes so far its not been too awful hot but once I am able to buy a washer instead of just renting one I'll definitely be doing ALL my laundry at night time. :-)
   
5. Laundry is DRY and ready to be taken down once I wake up. Most times between 10 AM and noon. Keep in mind I most times go to sleep around 3 AM or 4 Am.
   
6. Than I just keep repeating steps 1-5 :-)
   

Going to have to make up a playlist for my MP3 Player to listen to while I'm doing the laundry side shuffle. I know I'm gonna add JLo/Pitbull song Dance Again for sure. I need more high energy dance type songs to add to the list :-)

Leave your suggestions below for me please :-)

Crazy song line up that played soon after I woke up

Woke up to this Song above and
the others were playing while I was PMing the Ex.

Okay now its Where Have You Been? by Rihanna

Wow okay now old school Britney Spears Hit me baby one more time?
Shit now this one ----> Turn Me On (feat. Nicki Minaj by David Guetta
Laughs hand to God these are the songs lol I even have to screenshots to prove it.

Except for the last two since I was fixing my nephew N a peanut butter sandwich at the time.

Laughs okay that's my sign I need to go hang up the laundry now.
Have a great day everybody :-)

Doing things I probably shouldn't do :-s

Well this breakup is sorta a new can of worms for me. To be honest I've never kept in touch with an Ex after we broken up. Most times its that ONE last HUGE Fight and a Fuck You too to the asshole guy and its done and over with.

But than again D isn't like most my Exes.

Somebody had already told him about me being institutionalized (long story best told later) before and that I may not be able to have kids. He told me that after another of our fights where once again I was trying to push him away to try to protect myself. Its too late of course to do that. My heart is entirely entwined with his at this point and always will be as far as I'm concerned.

But I found some things while I was organizing/sorting thru some boxes in my room last night. Got me to thinking back to happier times. When I was thinking of the future and a blue eyed dark haired baby in my arms.

Before I had the bad PAP tests and was wondering if any guy would be interested in someone who could have cancer and not be able to have kids. Still have to go back to the ObGyn that told me my PAP test in June of last year was abnormal.

I had made appointment to go there discuss what it all meant but than I just plain chickened out and didn't go. I mean, I already knew it wasn't good news you know? Like I said I just chickened out and stayed home. Didn't help that I'd stayed up the night before cleaning because I was nervous and afraid of what the Dr would tell me.

I've got another PAP test set up for the 23rd and I've already arraigned for a ride to the Health Dept to do that one and than my very first group therapy is the next day. Got a feeling I'm gonna need that meeting.

I know I shouldn't borrow trouble but its hard not to think of the worst thing you know? That C word and everything that comes with it :-s

And speaking of borrowing trouble, I messaged D today. Its been about a week since our fight/breakup and I wasn't sure if I should or not but I'd seen he'd shared a picture I had posted. Call me foolish call me hopeful but I'm hoping maybe he messages me back. I mean like I said I'm so new to even trying to staying friends with a recent Ex that I'm not sure if I should of even messaged him :-(

I sorta joked with him about stealing my picture and that I couldn't help seeing it because when my mind wanders, I end up on his page. Ugh I freaking sound like a damn stalker :-s Just shakes my head okay on that note I'm going to bury my head under a pillow for at least 4 or 6 hours. Maybe when I wake up what I did/messaged him won't sound so stupid/desperate?

Sighs gonna go to sleep now after I hang up the clothes in the washer now and start up another load for when I wake back up.

Good night/Good Morning to anybody reading this.

Blog ideals just flooding my mind

Look forward to these posts soon.

Been a long night I just wanted to jot these

blog ideals down before I go to sleep.

I tweeted on Twitter about some of them last night under @FreeSpiritJamie

These are in no particular order:

Dancing in the Moonlight

Even MORE Progress Pictures

Your Book Personality

Memories Rediscovered

Pets Our Chosen Family

My Hope Chest

Things I did waiting for even MORE laundry to hang up

Doing things I probably shouldn't do :-s

Just come on back later today I should have at least half of these put up by hmmmmm let's say 8 PM tonight EST lol :-)

TTYL :-)

London Bridge is Falling Down and Washer Swapped out

Laughs I know you all know that little childhood song London Bridge is Falling Down, well that's what happened to my one clothesline today AFTER I hung up the latest round of wet laundry.

Thankfully the broken part was long enough to go around a nearby pole and be secured with a couple of U shaped nails. I'm gonna try to go to local hardware store and pick up another 100 feet or maybe longer to make even more clotheslines between the couple of trees in the back yard. Also going to go buy more laundry detergent, softner, and bleach. I think I have a FREE bottle of Era clothes derergent on my desk, I just have to find it today.

I'll take pictures later today and put them up soon. :-) Glad I'm actually getting things done.

Also glad that Rent A Center made good on the washer swap. I talked to the Manager and he actually gave me a more expensive washer in place of the low water disaster of a washing machine I got in the first place. Don't get me wrong it worked but it just didn't seem to get the clothes I had in the washer clean. Maybe I put too many clothes in the washer and the clothes didn't all get under the water but either way its outta here now and I have a different one in its place :-)


He couldn't or wouldn't extend the time of my rental past the 29th but its okay I'll settle for that for now. I'm going to write down the serial number of the washer I have here because the manager told me that I could do the same 90 days cash price for this washer as the original washer. I'll have to turn this one in at the end of the month.

But I'm hoping that between now and the end of the 90 days that I will have gotten a job and saved up the additional $360 for the washer. Or If I save up that much I might check on Lowe's or Home Depot website to see if I can get a brand new washer for less. Think I'm gonna check their websites now to get an ideal of prices for a simple plain run of the mill washer, I don't need anything too fancy; just something that will wash my clothes lol.

Picture time :-)

Okay well here's some of my latest pictures to keep reminding me that YES I'm Making Progress.

CLOSET BEFORE (stacked full of banana boxes of assorted stuff)

The spot next to the closet BEFORE

The spot next to the closet AFTER
I've moved the bookcase of mine on top of the dresser
so I can get more my stuff organized.
May put all my craft/bead stuff on there.

Look Ma I've got CLOTHES in my closet now lol
Not all those banana boxes that used to fill up my closet. I'll be catching up on the laundry these next two weeks and have everything hung up or put into the dresser.

Laughs for Some reason the pictures keep going to the top of my posts but oh well they are there :-) Got it straightened out now thru trial and error lol :-)


I'll be moving my bed around to make more room in my bedroom.

Wash Machine Swap Maybe

So The Washing machine I got from Rent A Center isn't working out the way I think it should.
I did a couple of loads of white clothes and they just aren't coming clean like they should :-s

I'm gonna get this low water high efficiency washer switched out for a good old fashion agitator in the middle of the washer like its SUPPOSED to be washer. lol :-)

Hoping to talk to the Manager in the morning and get him to either switch out the washer for a NORMAL Washer and give me my FULL TWO WEEKS rental or I'll tell them to come get it and refund my money back to the card.

Already commented on their Facebook wall about the situation. Hope they make it right.

Seen this and thought I'd share for anyone struggling with a break up.

Sending huge FreeSpiritChick hugs to anybody dealing with a breakup.

Know how you feel & maybe this will bring peace to some hurting hearts.

New Game Keep/Throw lol

My brother just suggested a game we can play in my room.
Chuckles he calls it Keep/Throw :-)
I'm gonna expand it just a little and call it Keep/Throw/Donate/Listia/Yardsellr =^.^=
Longer game title but it fits this game better lol

I'd suggest that you do the SURPRISE (Cleaning) Party on a Saturday.
Starting maybe around 9 am or shortly after most folks have already had breakfast.

Take a BEFORE picture of your room so you can compare it to your AFTER picture.


You'll need the following items to play this game:
1) MESSY ROOM (bedroom, living room, kitchen, any room will do just make sure its messy)
2) Gather at least 3 sturdy boxes
3) Box of black trash bags
4) 2 clothes hampers/baskets (one for colors/one for whites)
5) Black Permanent Marker
6) Boombox/radio/Computer with a playlist of energetic songs to play while you are cleaning
7) friends/family to help you. Invite them to a Surprise Party.

Just DON'T tell them that its a Surprise Cleaning Party.
Hint FEED THEM to keep them there
Don't feed them before they help or you may not have as many people helping. lol
Pizza is mostly cheap and the help is worth it :-)

Be sure to invite people who you know will SUPPORT you while you are cleaning up. Don't invite folks who you know will try to push you to get rid of stuff just because they don't think you should keep it.

REMEMBER----> This cleaning party is supposed to be FUN and worry free. You should get rid of stuff that YOU feel comfortable letting go of. Please do not give into peer pressure to get rid of something that you know you will regret later on. This is about your mental health as much as it is about cleaning up a messy room.

Here's the rules for this game:
#1 Label all the boxes. Keep, Throw, Donate, Listia,Yardsellr.
Okay the Keep box is pretty much obviously stuff you'd keep (go ahead and put the item WHERE it belongs once you have the box full by doing this it stops you from just filling a box and putting it in a corner until later) Come on we all know Later will only come when you "rediscover" the box. lol I'm speaking from experience here believe me it happens to the best of us :-)

The Throw box actually should be a large black trash bag NOT a BOX.
Go ahead bring the box of trash bags into the room you are cleaning.
Designate one person to make sure that the trash bag is taken out of the room straight to the garbage can. No need for it to stay in the room while you are cleaning.

The Donate box is pretty self explanatory. There are a lot of places you can donate your gently used clothes/knick knacks/furniture/pots and pans/glassware/etc. Goodwill, Salvation Army, local battered women shelters, or donate to your local church clothes closet. A lot of the above places will pick up your donation at your home. You can also go on Yahoo.com to join your local FreeCycle.com group or Craigslist under the FREE section. Just post your items and meet the person in a public place to give them what you list on FreeCycle.com Yahoo group or Craigslist.

Now down to the other FUN option of Listia.com or Yardsellr.com =^.^=
Let me explain first how Listia.com works. Think Ebay but without having to pay for it with cash (sometimes auctions involve shipping but a lot of people do free shipping)

Click this link to Listia.com that will allow you to get $5 worth of credits/600 points just for filling out your profile and linking things like Facebook/Twitter accounts. I have to admit it is a bit addictive but VERY Fun :-) Make sure if you join Listia to go to their Facebook page to promote your auctions and talk to other Listians :-)


Yardsellr.com is a great option for selling your stuff also. Did you have duplicates of blenders or have clothes that your kids have outgrown? What about that sorta ugly vase that your Aunt Myrtle sent you? Put it up for sale on Yardsellr.com for FREE.

Here is my Yardsellr.com I'm going to be adding more items in a few days including a 10KT gold I LOVE YOU crisscross band woman's ring (size 7 or 8), a 14 KT Gold double strand 8 inch bracelet, a Silver Mexican Mother of Pearl Butterfly and Enamel flower crushed turquoise cuff bracelet. I'm also adding additional clothes (baby and adult clothes) and some high heels.

Yardseller.com is free to place items up for sale because the advertisements on the website pay for the website. Also Yardsellr.com charges a $1 fee to the person who buys your item. You will have to pay for the shipping and tracking before you get paid from Yardsellr.com for your item. You can get paid by check or by Paypal.com. I choose the Paypal.com way because it takes just 3 days AFTER you send out your item with tracking.

#2 Keep cleaning the room until one of two things happen.
A) Your room is clean or B) You start to get frustrated with the process of cleaning, I'd rather you stop before you start to feel frustrated.

#3 If B happens to you, call a time out on the cleaning party and start a funny dance party for 10 minutes. Chuckles just to break up the routine. See who can do the funniest dance move.
Hehehe If you want to you can videotape the dances and upload it to youtube for friends and family to vote on which one is the funniest.

#4 Get back to cleaning for a bit longer and than when you and your surprise party are happy with your progress than take a lunch break :-)

#5 Call it a day and take a group picture of the room for your AFTER Picture.

#6 Toss out the trash and have one of your friends take off the donations, so that you aren't tempted to go back thru them.

Hope you like this game and play it often :-)

Thanks from FreeSpiritChick =^.^=

Washing Machine Adventures

The best laid plans of mice and men (and this particular FreeSpiritChick) often go awry. Or another way to put it ---> People plan and God laughs.

Well I rented a washing machine from the local Rent A Center with the intentions of having the washer here for two weeks to wash up all our laundry. I mean we've been doing laundry as we could afford it because Mom's Social Security Disability check is the only income in the house for now.

I've actually still got dirty clothes sorta bagged up around my bedroom right now from when I came home in January from being in New Jersey since September last year.

We had to turn off our water here for the night because the outside water spigot was loose and started to turn into a water spout. Its just a bump in the road right now since I'd much rather be washing up dishes while another load or two of clothes were getting cleaned.

Guess I'll just sort out the clothes and go buy some more laundry detergent, liquid softner, and bleach; so that as soon as the landlord changes out the spigot behind the washer and the spigot outside that I can start getting to work on all the backed up laundry here.

Sighs why do relationships have to be so hard sometimes?

Okay to give you some background on me. I've been in a long distance relationship for the past 5 years with a guy from New Jersey. I'm not gonna mention his name for now just call him D.

We have lived together on and off for the last almost 2 years of our relationship between times he's gone back up to Jersey to work as taxi driver. We have actually lived together maybe a year or year and a half altogether.

Well me and D haven't really been getting along for awhile (fighting verbally nothing physical) over little things and some sorta big thins (at least they were to me) like talking to other girls on the chat line we meet on.

But to tell the truth I think alot of our fights were because of both of our past relationship baggage sorta influencing the way we've been in this relationship. I know I have mental health issues and I'm working on that now.

I was first diagnosed with depression over 15 years ago when I was getting mental health help in Johnston County. But when my family moved, I was feeling better and didn't really feel the need to talk to a therapist or take medication anymore. Its only been this last year or so (since I'd gotten back into NC from my trip to NJ) that I'd been feeling increasingly depressed with other situations in my life (not just the relationship issues I'd been having with D)

I went to my new local Mental Health on Tuesday after the breakup with D on Saturday. I was feeling very overwhelmed with everything and honestly I had a pair of black small scissors against my wrist before I dropped them in shock about the VERY Dark place my thoughts had gone to :-(

I knew that cutting my wrists (even if the damn scissors had been anywhere near sharp enough) would have been a Permanent Solution to a Temporary Situation. I've had a couple of different friends of friends/family commit suicide and I know I didn't want to hurt my family, friends or D the way I've seen my friends hurt in the aftermath of their friends/family member's suicide.

I'm glad that I have friends and family here with me for me to talk to and I have a couple friends who are dealing with their own mental health issues or know where I'm coming from with this.

I'm gonna be going to a group therapy from now on and dealing with my depression and anxiety. It sorta sucks that I can't get to see a Dr to get prescribed medication for my depression and the anxiety I'm going thru right now. But I'll try to start dealing with things a little better now.

Update: I've been Slack at Posting but I've been busy in my room lately

Laughs okay I'm pretty slack sometimes posting but I've been cleaning up my room more.

I've gotten the desk area cleaned up more. I've dejunked the drawers on the left side so far and have the middle drawer cleaned out. Just have to finish the right side drawers and the top of the desk here.

I've started hanging up and sorting out the clean clothes I've had in baskets forever. I put the bookcase on top of my dresser now and have most of the boxes from the closet stacked up next to the dresser. Once I have my bed entirely cleaned off and made up with clean sheets, I'll start going thru the boxes and throw away what I don't need and put away what I am going to keep.


Hopefully within the week I'll be able to post the pictures from earlier.

Skipped to the kitchen today

Decided to skip over to the kitchen today instead of doing anything in my bedroom.

I'm really proud of myself and my other family member that helped clean up part of the kitchen toady. We went thru most of the boxed and canned food and tossed the expired stuff. So far we've cleaned out the two sinks and have done one large dish rack of assorted dishes, silverware, bowls and cups.


We've just taken a break for right now. He's taking a smoke break and I'm just updating the blog lol. I'll put up pictures in a little bit once I find the adapter for the SD card.

When we go back into the kitchen, we'll be cleaning up the baker's rack so that we can organize the dishes and silverware on it.

I SPY a huge mess lol

Laughs I'm not that lucky to be able to do this. Too much stuff would be hiding what I would be looking for :-s

I'll Get There

So it begins..........

Hi I'm FreeSpiritChick and this is the beginning of my journey to a cleaner more organized home. I could be your next door neighbor or your sister or the friendly neighbor down the block. We all have our secrets and mine is that my home is a disaster area. This has been an issue all my life but I'm taking steps now to stop my hoarding.

I'm doing this blog to sorta keep a record of my journey from horribly messy house to hopefully a more organized home. I'm doing this so on the days that I feel terribly depressed and can't see where anything has changed in my mess that I have PICTURE Proof for myself that YES I am MAKING PROGRESS.


If you want to join me in this journey, please click the follow button. I will however NOT Tolerate any NEGATIVE comments on my blog. If you can't respect the fact that I am TRYING to change how I act and why I sometimes want to hold onto sentimental items that someone else would just throw away, DON'T waste your time putting any negative comment because it will never be seen.

I have dealt with depression in the past and I'm working thru some issues with what some would call hoarding. Yes my home does look similar to the TLC Hoarders show. Maybe not to the same extremes as some of the homes. My home is more of a boxed up scattered sorta mess. Not the type of home that has clothes and everything built up to the ceiling. I do have some furniture stacked on top of other pieces of furniture. I also have boxes of different sizes and shapes stacked on top of each other.

I will be putting up pictures later today to remind myself of the BEFORE and the AFTER, so I can see for myself that YES I have made progress on whatever area of the home that I am working on at that time.

I will be working on the closet portion of my bedroom today. I figure that once I'm able to put away my clothes properly and get rid of items that no longer fit or that I don't want anymore, it will be easier for me to organize and clean up my room.